What goes into the recipe of a POWERFUL co-founder relationship?
How do I know if my potential co-founder is “THE ONE”?
Let’s explore via creative inquiry!
Here are a few of the ingredients:
1. A shared vision, AKA aligning on long-term goals.
Q’s: Are you clear on alignment here, and how do you know? What questions can you ask to discern this? Have their actions and historic decisions reinforced this shared vision (or a different goal)? In what areas do you lack alignment, and how do you address those differences? Have they demonstrated resilience in achieving a long-term vision historically? Do their intrinsic motivations indicate a short-term or long-term focus? How well does your co-founder consider the impact of their decisions on the team, company, and shared vision? Do you often feel like you’re rowing in the same or different directions?
2. Trust & mutual respect.
Q’s: Have there been any instances where your co-founder’s actions or decisions raised concerns about their integrity, reliability, or transparency (with you or others)? How do they handle sharing sensitive information or making important decisions with you? Have there been any situations where trust was compromised or eroded? What were the consequences? How was trust rebuilt (if at all)? Have you had enough “reps” with each other to know you can trust each other? How do you know? Do you feel open, with an ability to be share thoughts without judgment?
3. Communication & ownership mentality.
Q’s: Is there a flow in communication and two-way listening? How easy is it for you to bring up topics, even difficult ones, with this co-founder? Have you had an issue or conflict in the past? How severe? How was that resolved? How do they handle conflict generally? How does your co-founder approach decision-making? Do they take ownership of their decisions and consequences? Do they take credit for your decisions and wins? Can you describe a situation where your co-founder made a difficult decision and took responsibility, even if the outcome was unfavorable? Are there any instances where your co-founder has avoided making decisions or has shown a lack of initiative?
Some mindfulness notes:
1. Allow people to show you who they truly are – pay close attention to words, intention, and action. It’s important to remove any illusions and delusions here and see the other objectively.
2. Getting keen with your observational powers (and reference checks, leveraging the observations of others) are critical. Your co-founder will be one of the most decisions you make, and has the power to positively transform or sabotage.
3. Relationships are two-way, so harnessing the power of observation extends to an analysis of you, and not just the other.
4. Self-responsibility in relationships has the power to shift the relationship dynamic entirely. Own how you can show up better.
5. Often the “pet peeves” you find in others, may be a subconscious behaviors you own, too.
