Why is it so hard to ask for the things we want?

“Just ASK!” You know this. Why then is it so hard to ask for the things we want? Because this kind of advice isn’t immediately actionable in a negotiation. There’s more to it.

Negotiation plays a major role in your day-to-day. So does failing to negotiate!

Let’s hack effective negotiations:

Favor interests over positions. Why do you want your position? Clearly communicate your reasoning before discussing conclusions. Make sure the counterpart understands your why.

Work hard to create a BATNA, AKA a strong alternative if you fail to reach a negotiation. This takes time and effort beforehand.

Be radically open-minded in solutions that meet your why. Have an “anything wild goes” mindset when brainstorming solutions for mutual gain.

Select and agree on objective criteria for judgement. Stick to this.

Label emotions and critical talking points to show empathy and understanding.

Listen intently first, then be heard.

Find the gap. What does the counterpart NEED? This can be monetary, emotional, etc. Create a safe environment to discover these needs.

Make it easy to get a yes. Draft a proposal where a simple “yes” is sufficient and workable. Make your stance tangible via writing.

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